SAST #2- I Don’t Feel The Violent Eyes

Maybe sometimes.

I know the majority of it is in my head. But we men know the look. The look other men give you as they walk with their girlfriends. The possessive postulation, the “don’t you even think about it.” as if all men are pouncing rapists when given the opportunity. It must be evolutionary; surely, we can’t just be that insecure.

I feel it less in Zagreb.

Anyway, people walk faster on the ‘high street’. The slow life disappears, momentarily, until you have your seat. Your slot at the table, your drink in hand. What is the worry? Why such an intense walk to sit and drink? You’d think these people are fleeing an amber alert of a potential terrorist attack- not legitimate enough to garner a full-on sprint. I guess they might arrive, and there will be no seats, no alcohol, and the only waiter in town will be getting battered. They must come soon to prevent this.

I sit on my high horse, watching the mass hibernation whilst sipping a Staropramen. Knowing I could have easily been a part of the flock if I hadn’t made the intelligent decision and began drinking at one o’clock. A dash for civilisation. I’ve always been that guy. The fast walker. We curse the slow walkers, but they are better.

A busker starts performing, so I take my earphones out. I stare intently whilst trying to picture any Hrvatski word I recognise. I struggle. Still, though, I am obsessed with how I am perceived. Despite having a genuine interest and being genuinely moved by the performance, I’m still curious as to if I appear the way I feel.

It is annoying how on-point the metaphor “waves of people” is. A constant onslaught. It is perfect. I wish I had come up with it.

Should we just all agree that eye contact means nothing? I might look like I’d fuck you better, but I won’t.

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Now in Leipzig.

To my surprise, I’ve not witnessed the return of violent eyes. Pubs are manned by one human, people wait their turn, and there is no bouncer outside. The bouncer thing is significant, I feel. Was never any bouncers in Zagreb either. This is vague, and I’ll explain it in a later blog, but I think it is because of Patriotism. That being said, the Germans aren’t very patriotic.

The violent eyes appear to be more of a figment of my imagination. Still, I remember it feeling so real in Scotland. I am convinced of it.

“Someone’s blank stare deemed it warfare.” System Of A Down - Holy Mountains.

We shall see if they return.

Cheers