SAST #3 Am I A Hypocrite?
I have no idea what people are saying.
Couldn't even hazard a guess- no context helps. Everyone could be anyone. I am definitely me.
I've Been told the ginger hair, and the beard is the giveaway (fake ginger, may I add and also confess). Most people think I'm Irish, and some think I'm from the States. The American thing irks me; how the fuck could you think I'm American?
I've had many conversations with people who have admired my ability to be by myself. That they "couldn't do that". The 'shoulds' and 'needs' smack me in the face, but I hold in my therapy jargon for more appropriate moments. It's not too complicated to quickly skim. Still, with some people, you can see eyes bulge like Scooby Doo when you mention therapy. Perhaps…most definitely, I said Scooby Doo because there is a dog at the table opposite me who happens to look like Scrappy Doo. Maybe, that is what they are talking about at that table- how their dog looks like Scrappy Doo.
They don't check your ticket on the bus or tram here in Leipzig. I have no problem stealing, but my hypocrisy is inescapable. You see, I loved how In Zagreb, the waiter comes to you; you tell them your order, and they return with your order and leave a receipt on the table. You are trusted; you will pay the bill (bare in mind that many places have outdoor seating, so it would be easy to just take off without paying for your coffee). Yet, every time I get off the bus or tram here (Leipzig) without paying, I think, "Yea! You fucking idiot! I've won!". And it was the trust that I enjoyed about the receipt situation in Zagreb. But here, I see the trust as irrational. However, everyone I've spoken to always has a ticket and seemed alarmed at the risk I was taking (which would be a 60 Euro fine in the improbable scenario where someone is on board the vehicle to check the tickets).
I've surmised that it is because the bus or the tram isn't human. With the tram, you never see the driver, and even with the bus, you can get on through the middle door, so you can still avoid the human aspect of the job- just a machine. I guess I see it as an "of course" moment. Of course, I will not pay for a ticket if you never check If I've bought a ticket. I'll chance my luck because you've made it stupid of me if I don't. Running away, not paying for a coffee, is a different matter. That is human; you've looked that person in the eye and exchanged mouth noises. I confess my awareness that I may simply be a dickhead. I sometimes am a piece of shit; I've always loved finding the shortcut.
No one walks no matter what when it is a red man at the traffic light. It is maddening. Although one of my goals is to live life slower, I forget entirely in those moments. Go! They are a very obedient people, Germans. I talk in generalisations- I go to a place for a short period and make my mind up temporarily. Just know that I am aware of the actual intricacies of the human experience beyond nationality but fuck off. A month is a decent amount of time, and I'm the alien here, so who else better report the differences?
By the way, back to bus/tram shit. It isn't cheap. It's not that everyone pays for their ticket, but fair enough the government has nationalised the railway etc. and has made it very affordable. It is three euros for at least one stop. I know, there is probably some monthly ticket thing that saves you a bunch of money, but still, you'd think it was 70 cents based on the lack of criminality. The fine seems like a total bastard as well. Apparently, it is not just a piece of paper which spoiled my dreams of walking away and throwing it in the bin. Me, the Keyser Soze of petty crimes. No, they whip out the card machine and demand money on the spot. Fair enough if you don't have cash, but everyone has a card on them or their phone. They've got you by the balls.
Still, I won't let the paranoia get to me; I'm not paying for a ticket!
*Update: I am now in Budapest, I got on the tram for the first time, and before we had reached the first stop, I was fined for not paying for a ticket. The equivalent of £24 isn't too bad, but man, I got my comeuppance.
Cheers