Terrifying Faith In Your Future Self
Don't worry, future me will sort it out.
The late George Carlin was an American Comedian. Revolutionary for many reasons, one of which was the way he treated his comedy specials. George would write his special, tour the work, record the special and then BIN. All gone. Never see those jokes again. It is a process that is now very popular in comedy, with Louis CK being the most prominent advocate of this TERRIFYING faith in your future self.
Ari Shaffir, another great comedian, compared the tossing of your one-year material to a breakup. Your first breakup is brutal. God, it is fucking shite. It feels like the pain is now a constant in your life, a tattoo of regret plastered on your forehead. Then you get in another relationship, break up, another relationship, break up…….soon you just know the drill. The pain is sorta the same, but the fear that it will hang around forever is gone. The first time you throw away your years worth of material, you are scared, I assume. "What if I'll never be as funny as I was last year? What if I am just no longer funny? How will I get back on stage with NOTHING?". It is your first skydive. Will the parachute open? Then you get through it, with every new special a reminder that you can do this. The one-hit-wonder fear dissipates. It is remembering that what made you great was not the material; you were able to create the material. You are a person capable of creating greatness.
Does your creativity ever run out? For instance, when I do this shit, I tend to have a few ideas on a notepad that I know next week I can glance at it and feel inspired. I write basically a fucking page; it is nothing. But I still get scared. What if I have nothing to say anymore? Sometimes the notepad is empty. I'll wake up during the night for a piss and randomly have a foggy idea. Quickly note it down before I forget. It is as if I am stoned and can't trust my mind's value system. Every time this happens, it increases the faith.
Fuck it, I'll think of something.
Banking on future Blair. Inner belief. It is…nice? It makes me feel confident. However, that attitude bleeds into everyday life. Too much faith, man. Passing the buck.
Future me will do the reading next week.
Future me will deal with the hangover.
Future me will fucking HATE current me.
I laugh at him. Fuck you, man I'm sorry but fuck you. It is cruel. An odd separation, as if future me is so alien to current me that I won't face the consequences? Pre and post wank. Different entities.
Trust in your future self but trust that they will be angry.
Respect them as well; they are you, yano…
Although, I imagine part of the fun of sky diving is the fear. The 'What If'.
Aw, who knows.
Cheers