The (Lack) Advertising In P***

Do you ever wonder why all these big cunt companies don’t advertise on p***?

First of all, have you seen the advertising you do get on p***? Oh, you’ve never watched porn? Shut the fuck up.

Anyway, what you tend to get is a fake cam girl live stream. Fake in that it is not live, well to be fair, I have never deliberately clicked on it, but I assume it is not live. Then, of course, you get the token “hot girls in your area” ads scattered about the page. Now, I think I am an intelligent guy. Admittedly, am I at my brightest when I have an erection? No, my IQ significantly decreases, the caveman comes out. However, I am still intelligent enough to be aware that if I click one of those ads, I won’t be meeting up with a hot girl soon who happens to live around the corner. Indeed, no one is dumb enough to believe those ads, even old men who aren’t well equipped technologically.

So it begs several questions, one: what is the point of these ads? Two: who, if anyone, makes money off of them? And three: are these ads cheap?

1- I assume it is malware. Although viruses are basically not a thing anymore, you never hear about some cunt getting a virus. So right off the bat, these ads seem redundant.

2- I do not know. I mean, maybe a little?

3- I reckon the ads are cheap. I mean, look how shite they are, the lack of creativity, their knock-off quality and their outdated concepts. To me, this suggests any business with minimal success could afford to take ads out on Porn Hub.

So, why do the big companies not take advantage of porn? Why am I not getting a Topman ad mid wank? Well, it is the association with sex work. It is all public image bullshit. As seen with the recent only fans debacle, even companies directly partnered with sex workers will sever ties as soon as they have the chance to be ‘legitimised publicly’ or their bottom line is threatened. No principles in business except…

Money money money. We are taught in business that money is the bottom line yet. These big companies do not have the stones to advertise on porn where ads will be cheap and get way more traffic than youtube or television. Also, I am staring at my phone for what it is worth when I am watching porn. I am not also going through Instagram or replying to texts etc., my eyes are entirely on the ART. So, if there was ever a time for advertising to stamp their sigil through my eyes, it would be whilst I am gearing up for a wank.

Throw in some product placement and you’ve got yourself a very aroused slave to capitalism. If you’re going to be fucked you may as well cum.

Cheers