He Keeps Walking In On People In The Bathroom
He must be into that.
We don’t have a lock on the bathroom. Most two bedrooms don’t, from my experience. Not really sure why; even the closest of relationships don’t want to see their partner shitting. I would like that. Not the shitting, but the comfort. I promise this is not about me; I am merely a fictional writer.
So, at first, it was funny. I had just begun my piss, and he came barging in. It was the morning; we were both half asleep and getting ready for work- so we laughed, plausible deniability. In hindsight, however, I saw lust in his eyes. The same look a dog gives you when you interrupt their humping.
The next time it happened was two days later. This man was not doing a good job fighting against the stereotype that plagues his race; you decide what way you want to be racist. I had my friend Becky round. Becky is a looker, not that it seemed to matter, but it is important to note that she is a rare species of Becky; she is not a “fat Becky”. Becky was doing a lot to fight the stereotype that plagues her name.
We were drinking in the living room whilst he had boarded himself in his room. We were quiet, but he had some complaints the following day. Like clockwork, as that bathroom door closed on Becky, I heard his bedroom door open like a piston. A machine- plausible deniability.
“Oh, sorry sorry sorry!” I heard him yell as he dashed back into his hole. I had already told Becky about the incident a couple of days prior, so we had the same face when she returned to the living room.
“That fucking creep!”
We hatched a plan for the following week whilst I only used the bathroom when he was asleep or out. Our friend Jane was going to come round. Jane was overweight, but that doesn’t matter because “fat Jane” isn’t a thing, for now anyway.
When my friends came over, Becky and Jane, this time; he was quiet and headed to his room. He did seem a tad more confident than usual, I will admit. Maybe, he was giddy about his plans, and that little cock was gaining some firmness. A man with a firm cock is a scary specimen.
There were two decisions to be made. Did he want me or Becky, his usual cuisine, or was Jane’s appearance on the menu the way to go? We went with ‘big fat disgusting Jane’. The next was a knife or a taser. We went with the taser. How did we get ahold of a taser? Fuck off.
“Two seconds I am just heading to the bathroom!” yells Jane.
I’m sure his ears, as well as his dick, perked up. Because he was into this sort of stuff, you understand? Click………Click. One door closes for another to open. In this case, his door opened so he could barge in on Jane in the bathroom. Jane had the taser ready and tased him for as long as we read on google, we could do it. Jane shocked the shit out of him.
The sceptics will think it was a tad harsh. Him ultimately losing his home and getting the shit shocked out of him. But we could have called the police, I think? Perverts seem to be almost identical dogs. The eyes mid-hump and the eyes when they get caught doing something bad. His eyes told us he had pissed on the floor and liked watching women on the toilet. A guilty look that sentenced him back to the prison of Spare Room.
The End.
Cheers.